I'll Look After You
by jamiexh
Summary: Faberrittana. 13th in the "And Then There Were Four Series."  Brittany reflects on how much her life and her relationship with Rachel, Quinn, and Santana has changed post-graduation.


Title: I'll Look After You

Series: And Then There Were Four

Author: Jamiexh

Disclaimer: Ryan Murphy owns Glee.

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Brittany reflects on how much her life and her relationship with Rachel, Quinn, and Santana has changed post-graduation.

Preceded by: Open Your Heart/ I'm Still Here/ Everything I Do, I Do It For You/ Girls Just Wanna Have Fun/ Pictures Of You/ Regaining Unconsciousness/ I Think I'm Paranoid/ Come Clean/ Everything/ I Hope You Dance/ Breakaway

"It's always have and never hold,

You've begun to feel like home.

What's mine is yours to leave or take.

What's mine is yours to make your own."

-November 2012-

Brittany admits that it is weird living away from Lima. New York is so different than the small Ohio town that she and her girlfriends grew up in. Not bad, just different. Truthfully, she loves New York. There is a sense of freedom there that she's never had before. She has no obligations to anyone other than herself and her girls.

She knows that she has to do well in school, but that's for her. Brittany loves Juilliard. It's challenging, but it's what she wants to do. Brittany loves choreographing different dance routines, and her professors think she could have a real future in that. If Brittany just keeps working hard at it, then maybe one day, she'll have a good career as a choreographer.

Brittany also knows that she has to work. Her parents might be paying for her schooling, but there is still the matter of the apartment and bills, so she has to work. Lucky for her, she found a job as a waitress not too far from the apartment. Even luckier, Santana also works there as a bartender. So, if some of the patrons aren't being nice to Brittany, they might find their drinks watered down a quite a bit. Or if they were really drunk already, they might get a "Dirty Rag" on the house. Just to be polite, of course.

Then there are her girls. Brittany loves Rachel, Quinn, and Santana with all her heart. They were there for her through thick and thin and she can say that without them she wouldn't be here right now. It's true, because they are the ones that videotaped her at her dance class, and sent an application into Juilliard with it, and with her personal essay, which ironically was about dance.

But, with Thanksgiving coming up, Brittany couldn't help but be homesick. She misses McKinley High, and her friends in Glee and on the Cheerios. She misses her extended family, the Lopezes and the Berrys. She misses her dad and her stepmom. But, most of all, she misses her mom.

For four years, she has seen her mom at school every day. If Brittany had a bad day, she would just walk into her mother's office, and close the door, telling her that she needs a 'mom moment.' And Sue would comfort her and send her back to class with a note. Brittany loves that. There is a side of Sue Sylvester that only she sees, because she is her mom. Now, Sue is beginning to show that side to her other girlfriends, or wives, as her mother now refers to them. Sue, like Brittany, thought that their relationship couldn't get any harder after high school. But, they were wrong.

Living with her three girls had been a challenge. Though they spent as much time as they could which each other when they were in high school, at the end of the day she and Santana went back to their own homes. Other than Quinn and Rachel, who lived together for basically the duration of their relationship, they didn't know how hard living together would be. They had to get used to each other habits and pet peeves. For instance, Brittany didn't know that Santana hated when people put their feet on the coffee table while on the couch. Rachel hated shoes on the couch or on the bed. And Quinn? Well, Quinn wouldn't let any of us eat a meal unless we prayed first. At least, that was for meals that we ate together.

It is a challenge living with her girls, but one that Brittany is willing to go through. There are just too many good things about living together that she is not willing to give up. She loves the way Rachel sings in the morning, and the way Quinn kisses them all before leaving the apartment. Brittany smiles on the inside every time, Santana watches her at work, giving her a protective glance when she needs it or a possessive glare to the patrons if they get a little too grabby.

Sure, some of the issues from high school are still there. For one, they are not out completely. Quinn explained to her once, that it would be better for them all if people didn't know that all four girls were dating each other. So, even in New York, she couldn't kiss all her girls in public. Brittany would be lying if she didn't say that it hurt to deny some of her girls. But, they are partly out. Everyone at school knows that she's dating Rachel, and everyone at work knows that she is with Santana. When they go visit Rachel at the diner, Santana blows Rachel a kiss every time, while Quinn snuggles with Brittany. Brittany supposes that partially out is better than being in the closet to everyone, but their closest friends and family in high school, but she still wants to be able to pull all four of her girls into a tight embrace and shout out to the world that she loves these girls more than anything. But, at least in New York they are free to be gay without the stigma they would get in Lima.

The other big issue from high school is Jacob. Rachel copes the best she can, but Brittany can sometimes still see the pain in her eyes. Santana told her that they stopped Jacob before he could put his penis inside her, but the damage was still done. Rachel doesn't like to talk about it, but Quinn got the full story out of her one of the days that she spent the night alone with Rachel, when Santana and Brittany were at home.

"He stuck his fingers in her," Quinn told Brittany. "She wasn't wet, and he hurt her. She thought about us to try to get herself wet because she knew that he was going to rape her. She just wanted us to save her."

"But you and Santana did save her," Brittany assured her.

"We were still a little too late," Quinn cries. "He hurt her. He broke her."

And he did break her. For a little while at least. It took Rachel months to get back to trusting them completely. They could hold her and be near her, but they couldn't touch her. They had to watch out for her. Certain phrases and scents would bring on flashbacks of the events. It took three weeks for Rachel to even go back into the locker room with the three of them. They all changed in the girls' bathroom with her until she could finally go back in there. Last February, on the one year anniversary of the attack, she had the other girls all stay with her, even though it was a school night, and she just snuggled closer to Santana all night. But the girls were all woken up in the middle of the night by Rachel's crying. They all embraced the still sleeping girl, and cried silently as they wished they could erase her pain.

Rachel cried herself to sleep again because of Jacob a month ago. She got a letter telling her that Jacob had been paroled and Rachel turned to Brittany for support. But, Brittany knew that she wasn't enough to chase the nightmares away for Rachel. That wasn't her role. Santana is the protector and Quinn the nurturer. Brittany is the person to go to cheer you up and give you confidence. And Rachel, though she might be the baby of the family, she's the one to give you strength. Brittany remembers how much Rachel has gone through for them and because of them. Jacob may have been the worst incident that she's gone through, but it was impossible to forget the countless slushies that she got thrown in her face, or the time she was egged by Vocal Adrenaline.

But, this time, Brittany had been all she really had. Quinn and Santana were broken up with each other when Rachel got the letter. Their breakup put a strain on everyone. It wasn't fair to Rachel or Brittany to allow Santana or Quinn to cuddle one of them without the other. Sure, if it was just either Santana or Quinn in the apartment with them, they would allow the other girl to hold them. But, when they were together, it was unfair.

But really, it was unfair to Brittany and Rachel. It was like they were only with each other, and that killed Brittany. Then the Jacob letter only poured salt in the wound. An already stressed out Rachel, cried herself to sleep and even then, she barely slept. Brittany would then cry herself to sleep after she knew Rachel was out. She tried to put on a brave face for her girl, but wished more than anything that Santana could do her job and Quinn could comfort her for failing to help Rachel. But, Santana and Quinn weren't together, and the last thing that Rachel and Brittany wanted was for them to start another fight.

After three days and a panic attack from Rachel when she thought she saw Jacob at Juilliard, Brittany snapped the other two girls into submission, because they did really want to make up, but were too stubborn to do anything about it. They finally made up and gave Rachel the help she needed. And Brittany got her own thank you from Quinn that night.

Their relationship is far from perfect obviously, but Brittany doesn't know what she'd do without it. There is still a lot of work to be done, but it's worth it. Santana, Quinn, and Rachel mean the world to her. She might have grown up in Lima, and may live in New York now, but none of those places are home without her girls. And despite all the troubles they have, if they are together at the end of the day, it's home. And Brittany doesn't want it any other way.


End file.
